Other Thoughts

ADHD is a Spectrum

ADHD is on a spectrum like so many things -- intelligence, autism, gender, and so on. There is inattentive ADHD (what one of my children and I have; hyperactive (what many young boys, and some young girls, present with); and combined type (what my other child has). And then each one of these three types has one of three severities -- mild, moderate, or severe.

ADHD presents differently in every single person who has it. One way to understand that is this: At each point in a person's life, there are changing aspects that make up that person, all layered one on top of another: age, experience, gender, intelligence, temperament, personality, values, environment, parenting, etc. Additionally, interwoven in and among all of those "layers," are their unique ADHD or Executive Skills struggles. These struggles can then affect other aspects of the person -- environment, relationships, etc., often causing that person to appear in the world as "less." As a result, this negative view often affects how the world treats the individual. In turn, of course, that treatment by others then can add a negative value to how the individual with ADHD or Executive Skills challenges perceives their own self and self-worth, and when, as often happens, their self-esteem drops due to these added struggles, this can further negatively affect how the individual appears in the world and who they are in their mind -- and the vicious cycle continues.

Other Thoughts and Information About ADHD

Our family has come to terms with our ADHD. It doesn't make us less, and it doesn't make it our superpower. It is an enormous part of who we all are, and we all are learning to live successfully in the world -- it is a lifelong process. Now, without embarrassment, I am able to tell people my diagnosis. And I have realized that the more ADHD becomes normalized in the world, and the more that people become aware of it, the better life will become for individuals with ADHD and for their families.

To that end, my son and I both have become ADHD Life Coaches, and our whole family continues on this journey. It is not an easy one, but the three of us who are identified as having ADHD are all in coaching with our own coaches. We continue to learn about our neurodivergent brains, how to focus on our strengths to make our lives better, and how to make our dreams come true. I hope that you will consider coaching. It really does change lives for the better!

When I first was diagnosed, I was uncomfortable sharing that information with people. First of all, I really didn't understand anything about ADHD, and I didn't know how to explain it. I also was afraid to tell anyone, as I worried that sharing this would suddenly open the door for it to be used against me, especially in professional situations. Suddenly my being late or disorganized might be under a spotlight, and might be looked for, rather than overlooked the way it often had been.

The other conundrum for me was that I was a special education teacher, so how could I not have recognized my own and my children's ADHD?! The irony, however, is that regarding the law, ADHD isn't covered by the Individuals with Disabilities in Education Act, (IDEA). Rather, it is classified as a disorder, and therefore is treated as an "illness." Because of this, when learning about special education in college, aspiring teachers are not taught very much about ADHD; and what they are taught is painted with a broad brush. Also, what they are taught is often limited; and in some cases, it is inaccurate.

Teachers are often told that ADHD is simply a childhood disorder that children grow out of (incorrect); and then this information is what trickles into society, and, therefore, we believe that ADHD is something that only affects children, which also means we believe that adults who continue to exhibit ADHD symptoms and characteristics are simply lazy, uncaring, and filled with character flaws, and all of which are far from the truth.

Also what is often implied in the education field is that children who have ADHD or Executive Skills struggles can be identified easily -- they are basically the little boys who fall out of their chairs and who take Ritalin (which is partially correct) -- (see the lower half of the ADHD Iceberg to see other symptoms of ADHD that aren't so commonly known).

As a result, the way ADHD is generally addressed in schools is this: the school nurse writes a 504 medical plan for these students, the teachers write down a few accommodations on the plan, the parents get their child a bottle of medication every month, and the student gets no special education support, because they do not have a recognized disability. And because of this, the struggles usually continue; the school and parents often think the issue has been addressed (when in reality, it is mainly the symptoms that have been addressed); the student still struggles; and sometimes the situation becomes worse, because the teachers, the parents, and especially the student, don't understand why things aren't really getting better.

The reason is because the skill is not in the pill. In addition to the medication that is often prescribed, the individual and the people around the individual need to understand about ADHD and impaired Executive Skills. They need to understand that unique strategies and supports that work for the unique individual must be in place, and that the individual needs to learn about their own uniqueness, and to respect it.

Additionally, everyone in this milieu needs to understand that a person with ADHD has a differently wired prefrontal cortex in their brain; because of that, these individuals do and perceive things differently than neurotypically wired individuals. They also need to understand, in addition to the individual's unique brain wiring, the prefrontal cortex in these individuals also develops more slowly -- on average three years behind their peers -- than other individuals. And this colors not only an individual's childhood, but their adult years as well.